Ryan Swanson

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Even the Loch Ness Monster got dumped by his girlfriend
I don't want to know her name
You need rodeo shoes for that
BITCH KNOWS WHAT SHE WANTS
Give me that necklace or I'll kill you, bitch!
LAY STILL, PLAY DEAD
Houndstooth homer
Now take another one of me flexing
Not that couch
Yes, I'm sure she's still looking
Rip tide at antiques road show
He also golfs a great game
 ONCE A DIVA, ALWAYS A DIVA
Fat man at a two top
Octo-man
Diamond dropper
Glitter thighs
April is riding season
Enough, you mean not enough
Energize your workout
1940s hairstyles make me feel safe
The new mall has an ice skating rink
You can barrow my jeans but you have to wash them after
At Least It Doesn't Bite
Cape cod teenager
KINDA LIKE THAT OLD-TIMEY RECORD PLAYER THING
I can't tell if I like it or hate it
Thats not something you are allowed to touch
Put some deodorant on that
No matter how many times you put that on, it's not going to work
Vegas, baby
This won't hurt at all
It's not stealing if she's dead #2
Everyone likes twin shit
I still like that single ladies video
What are you going to do, arrest me for smoking?
Regretful nightmares
New golf outfits
Bridges will part for the right thighs
And now we move
My final answer
Beheaded, just like her father...
It's going to last at least 12 hours
Chests with breasts
To many legs
She says they are original but I'm not so sure
I'd like to buy a bird bath
I thought you were staying for pancakes
I think it's a door jam
What you do with the seashell is your business
Deep skin pearl necklace
Squish, dash and dart
Workspace
Doping is not cheating, it's just another way to win
Have one for the marlboro man
Texting while crying
Drain
He looks like my friend, Brian
Medusa
Excellence is obedience
My face got eaten by her beauty
Check out these abs
I still like that single ladies video
Social climber
Split from the survivors
That kind of looks like balls
I'm going to quit soon
I don't play scrabble with him, he cheats
Clean-up the bathroom
I have no use for the letter
Puddle Hopper
Can't stop thinking about you
I think she put it in her purse
Round and round we go
A GOOD HAIRCUT CAN BE HARD TO COME BY IN THIS ECONOMY
Once a shoplifter, always a shoplifter
Put those between your legs and pull
Her father is the old one
I'm clapping, but I don't mean it
Not until we get to the other side
Elephant man regretted his color palette
I think this used to be a sculpture
Propellor feet
We should go to St. Barts again
Beach sex only works in movies
Dead of night, black as rain
Central Administration
Your closet is huge
In case of emergency use liposuction
WE’LL GO THERE AFTER THE MALL
Poor mans logo
Wreck my neck
Diamond back
The third angel wasn't really an angel at all
Finger bumps
I'd do anything for Laura Ashley
King-un-done
Retired Batman
Who needs a permit
Who needs sisters
It felt hot coming out
In one end, out the other
A monument to unused ideas
I roll like that
Mile high club
Tight places
Even condos can crumble
Style Monster
This is what happens when you don't have zoning laws
CUSTOMER SERVICE DEPARTMENT IS NOW CLOSED
Fat girls have all the fun
I'd do anything to get her necklace
Against the passive wall
Rebounding and other bad habits
blowpaper
The natives have cell phones
I heard that Jesus 3.0 is going to be the gay version
Bed Heads
Too bad you can't pay your bills in idealism
Does this make me look fat?
Hold the mayo
Middle management
THE WHITE ONE REALLY SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT WHO WE ARE
Are you sure this isn't too big
It's going to fall if you add anything to it
I'll wait until they are done
Add an accent lamp to an otherwise dull room
Show up late leave early syndrome
Carousal
Sit-ups are for losers
It's old but someone will take it
Before she got beat
That fat bitch broke my shoe
Lets table that for now
Ben Affleck As Voldemort
Chomping summer beach time
Reach around
First pump
It's drunk o'clock fattie
Thats going to ruin your posture
Teardrops and sand
This conference sucks
Tap
Jack Nicolson starts in the shining
Dining room mating habits
Our attorney is here now
on purpose after the accident
A pillar of ingenuity
Thats not going to fit in there
Knock out
You're not going anywhere in that outfit
Wonky-donk
Dead Hummingbirds
Monument to a better future
Church of houndstooth
Falling Backwards
Ya, but he can only do it two times
Style monster
These guns do trim
It's a cool game but I'd be more into it if we could wear our own outfits
Stepping on toes
Jump squats in thongs
Congratulations, your arranged marriage has been placed on hold
Tickle my peacock
Kelly Kapowski should have been in Showgirls
The swelling will go down eventually
It's not stealing if she's dead #1
You can ask the dry cleaner, but i doubt it
Without a red flag
Get out of my way, I'm going to sneeze
Not implants, just a little boost
Knots of experience
It Won't Ever Get Old, But It Will Run Out
Still life with metro-sexual
Get your boobs out of my way
He was kind of hot in the shinning
Too drunk to dance
I just threw-up a little in my mouth
I'm not going to let him know my name
I'm saving up for a car
Bad habits die hard
Kiss me not
It wasn't balloon boy's best idea
BY TOMORROW THERE WILL BE TWO
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